Wisdom of the Ages

things i use to not believe and now do:

"i love you more today than yesterday, but not as much as tomorrow"
i used to think that there's a limit to your love, that if you love someone with all your heart, how could you love them more. but as i learned through the years, you can and do love people more, the love becomes deeper and more enduring/forgiving, there's a sense of longing and attachment that gets stronger over time.

the line "all that i need is the air that i breathe, and to love you" from a song.
i used to think, "boy, talk about hyperbole/melodramatic", but i feel it now. it just feels as if all i need is the air that i breathe, and to love "you". no food, no sleep, nothing else.

in the same vein: "i don't want to fall asleep, cause i'd miss you, babe"
now i just want this moment when i'm holding you to last forever, don't want to sleep because i wouldn't see you or hold you.

it's amazing how deeply we can love. i didn't know that i could. but apparently i did.

List of deplorable a**holes who we should never forget

2016-12-21 -

John R K Howard (19 yo ao 2016) http://www.lovebscott.com/news/white-high-school-football-player-kicked-coat-hanger-rectum-black-disabled-teammate-avoids-prison

2020-05-08
GOP leadership: Donald Trump, Mitch McConnell, Betsy Devos, William Barr, Stephen Miller, and the rest of Republicans in Senate & Congress.

something wise

a quote I saw in the NYT comments from bubbageek:

"no one can know his / her own beauty or perceive a sense of his own worth until it has been reflected back to him in the mirror of another loving, caring human being."

This somehow resonate with me.

Big Sur International Marathon update

I had signed up to run the 21 miler in the Big Sur Marathon with my wife and some friends.  This race will take place on April 28, 2013.  We've been training hard for this for the last 2 months, and these are some notes with regards to this training:
1.  running long distance (10+ miles) really works your body over.  very effective in finally shedding some of the fat that were difficult to get rid off.
2.  you really get in shape pushing your body that hard to run long distances.  once you run 10+ miles a few times, running 6-7 miles is a piece of cake.
3.  it's pretty amazing what your body is capable of, if you're willing to push it.
4.  anything longer than a half-marathon (13 miles) is more than you need for health.

My wife and I decided that we probably need to sign up for a couple of half-marathon a year.  1 in spring and 1 in the fall, just so we always have something to train for.  It's so much easier to get out and do the work when you're working towards something tangible, rather than just good health.

Year of the Dragon difficulties

Last year, 2012 was the year of the dragon, my "birth" year, as I was also born in the year of the dragon (1964).  According to chinese zodiac lore, I would have a tough year.  I didn't realize it at the time, but looking back, I suppose my brush with ED would constitute my difficulty for the year.  If that is the worse it can get, I'm glad that's all it is.

2012 in Review

A look back at 2012 and how I did against the goals I've set for myself:
2012 was again not all that exciting.  Some highlight of the year were:
1.  Spring break with my wife hiking the Grand Canyon, Zion and Bryce Canyon.
2.  my oldest son (Jordan) and his girlfriend was voted homecoming king and queen in October.
3. Cancun in October with my wife
4. Cancun in June with family and friends.

Goals set at the beginning of the year:

Health/Personal ---ended the year in about the same physical shape as the beginning of the year.  Have become a better swimmer, not better mechanics, just more endurance and comfort in the water.

1. 1000 miles on bicycles, 350 miles on foot (only 20 and 7 miles a week respectively) in 2012
• I probably did about 300 miles on foot in 2012
• I only biked about 630 miles in 2012 - obviously because of the effect on my body (ed) I did not cycle as much.
2. run 1 half-marathon in 2 hours or less
• Did this in January, and was very close in the July SF Half-Marathon, finishing in 2h01m
3. do 1 50 miles bike ride
• Did this a couple of times, but these long bike rides will have to stop because of the impact to my body
4. complete 2 of the 4 army ranger's physical requirements: 80 push-ups in 2 minutes, 80 sit-ups in 2 minutes, 12+ pull-ups, 2 miles in 13 minutes (currently can only do the 12+ pull-ups)
• Did the 12+ pull ups - can do this regularly now
• Did 80 push ups in 2 minutes once.  Can easily do 60 push ups in a row now, need to get to 80  regularly
5. body fat at 10% as measure by my scale (currently at 12%)
• Body fat is still about 12%

Wealth - to increase net worth by $100K. This can be accomplish by investment gains, increased savings or debts reductions. ---Increased net worth by $135K

Skills/Knowledge - learn two cooking techniques from this list: stir-frying, braising, soup, sauteing, sauce---got a lesson from co-worker on making sauce/gravy, a little more comfortable doing that now.

Reading - to read 10 books.---did read more than 10 books this past year, mostly books that my teenage daughter read, and some smut.  Started to read Les Miserables, but it was sooooo slow.  I may try it again, now that I was inspired somewhat by watching the movie.

Advice for parents of grown up children

These words/thoughts/insights resonated with me.  They were comments from a NYTimes article:
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/11/28/booming/when-theyre-grown-the-real-pain-begins.html?src=me&ref=general&_r=0

• "Never want more for your children than they want for themselves"
• "Listen to their problems and sympathize with them"  try not to solve their problems for them unless asked.
• Try to not let their problems become your problems, otherwise they won't want to tell you about their problems for fearing it would become your problems.
• “Don’t hope for anything.”
•  "keep your mouth shut and your arms open"

SF Half Marathon

Ran in the 2012 SF Marathon - but only the 1st half marathon.  Finished in 2h01m10s.  Better than I expected going into the race, since I haven't been running much.  But not as good as I wanted to run.  I wanted to break 2hours.  The golden gate bridge portion of the race slowed me down too much.  It was too crowded, and I was dodging people left and right trying to go by.  The adrenaline from racing and the motrin before the race seemed to help a lot, since I was not feeling that much pain in my foot or knees.
I may have to try running in a half marathon event, rather than by myself to see how I would do.

It's alive!

My little brush with ED is now over.  Everything is back to normal working condition.  It probably was the cycling that did it.  All I did in the past month was cut out all the long (2+ hours) bike rides.  I still ride my bike to work, play tennis, run, walk, hike, swim.  About a week ago, everything was back to normal.  I am relieved that this was just a brush with ED and nothing more.  Hopefully I won't have to deal with this for a long time.

ED2

This is a follow-up on my post on June 4th.
Two weeks have past since I became concerned about my state of being (ED).  Not much have changed, I'm not cycling except for a couple of commutes to work.  I jokingly describe my situation as like a bicycle tire with a fast leak, you can pump it up, and the tire will stay in riding condition for about 10 minutes, so if you want to use it, you need to pump up the tire, and ride hard and fast to get to where you're going.  Yesterday (6/17) was the first time in the last two weeks, where I don't feel as if I'm losing "air" quickly.  Although I'm still not as sensitive and as easily aroused as before.  I'm still remarkably calm about this situation considering that I LOVE sex.  Still have not felt compelled to use the Viagra sample that I was given two weeks ago. Will continue to monitor the situation, and update if anything pops up. 

ED

This Saturday (June 2, 2012) is the first time I can remember where "morning wood" did not happened.  If it did happen before it was never a concern.  It was noticeable now, because I've notice that I'm not as hard as I used to be.  If my "tire" pressure was supposed to be at 35psi, it has been at around 32psi for the last year or so, and last week it felt like it was at 25psi or something.
I'm alarmed about this development, but I'm not freaking out about it YET.  I'm thinking this is probably due to the heavy cycling that I've been doing in 2012 (I've put in almost 500 miles in the last 5 months, having not done too much cycling before that).  This means that I will lay off the cycling for now, except for the short bike ride to work (20 minutes each way), and monitor the situation.
Surprisingly, I'm not as freaked out as I thought I might be. This is probably because I think that this is a temporary condition.  If this situation doesn't resolve itself in a month, I won't be laughing about it then.  I'm also surprised that I shared this information with my friends pretty easily, no embarrassment or shame or anything.  We'll have to see where this takes us.

Another 50 miles bike ride

On May 5th 2012 I managed to go for a 50 miles bike ride.  It took about 4hrs30min.
Also rode to the Oakland Coliseum for a baseball game on 4/25.  19 miles each way.  Riding uphill is very hard, have to build up power and stamina for these rides.

Grand Canyon

My wife and I went to the Grand Canyon during spring break, without the kids.  They didn't like the idea of hiking it too much.  We went with the idea of hiking from the South rim down to the river and back in the same day.  While people do it all the time, the grand canyon website is very adamant that visitors should not attempt to hike from rim to river and back in the same day.  After doing it, I can see why they would say that.  The day of the hike (4/10/12) the weather was great.  We started at the Bright Angel Trail at 6:15am.  The temperature was in the 40s.  We got down to the river by 10:15am, at that it feels like it probably was in the 70s.  We were feeling pretty good, and felt this hike might not be as difficult as we had anticipated.  The hike is about 8 miles each way.  We started back up at around 11am.  By 12:30pm we were back at Indian Gardens, (4.6 miles from the rim).  We were still feeling great, but the temperature has now gone up to about 95F.  The last 4.6 miles up to the rim took 3 hours and 15 minutes.  We used up about 1.5 liter of water each on that last stretch. The heat and the 11 miles of hiking finally took it's toll on us.  We made it back to the rim, and did pretty good.  But had it been a much hotter day, (it routinely gets over 100F in the summer), we would not done nearly as well.
In any case, the Grand Canyon was GRAND and beautiful!  Well worth the hike.  We plan to do this hike again someday, but this time down the South Kaibab trail and up the Bright Angel trail.

more goals completed

1. finally did 80 push-ups in 2 minutes. needed every seconds of those two minutes to complete task, but got it done. now I will work to be able to 100 continuous push-ups

2. rode my second 50 miles bike ride ever, the first one this year. this was fun, much better than the first one I did, I took about 5 hours to it though. I will try to do 1 50 miles bike ride in 4 hours or less.

13 miles under 2 hours

1st goal of the year checked off.
Went for a run on Saturday 1/18/2012, intended to run the 13 miles, hopeful that I would feel good enough to do it. The weather was perfect for running, a sunny low 50s morning.
3 miles - 25:43 m:s
6.5 miles - 56:20
10 miles - 1:28:20
13.0 miles - 1:58:51
still in pain on Sunday. Feet, knees and thighs are all sore, will try to do some moderate cycling to stretch out the legs.