The family went on an 8-day Carribean cruise over Thanksgiving. It was a nice relaxing time. The most interesting thing for me was how different this cruise was compared to the Alaska cruise I took 6 years ago. And the difference was all due to the changes in me.
From the Alaska cruise I gained 5 pounds, and for a month afterward, I was constantly hungry. This is understandable given that while on the cruise, I was eating like a pig. The first night I ordered 2 entrees for dinner, by the last night, I ordered 4 entrees for dinner. (fyi, I'm only 5 feet tall and weighs about 120 lbs.).
Given the health kicks I've been on this year, I actually lost 1 pound during this cruise. The food was good and I ate plenty (usually an extra appetizer or entree, not as much as the last cruise, but still more than usual), but what changed was how active I was. I made an effort to exercise during the cruise. This is a first for me. I normally count on being active enough during vacation (walking, swimming with the kids) to burn the calories, but this time I actually used the gym on board to exercise almost every day. And surprisingly I was not feeling the hunger after this cruise as I did the one before.
It's amazing what a change in mind-set can do.
Thang
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Friday, November 9, 2007
health update
Got my blood test back yesterday. My cholesterol level was 180, this is much better than it was 3 years ago when it was 218. At the time, I told my wife I'll watch my diet and try to be more active to see how it goes. Can't believe it actually works.
As a person who use to compete in sports, I needed some targets to shoot for in my exercise. I decide that my goal is for every distance that I care to be able to run, my time to shoot for would be twice the world record time. That is, if the world record for the 100m dash is 9.5 seconds, then i should try to do it in 19 seconds. For the real short sprints, this is not too big of a deal, but for distance it can be tough. That means that i got to get myself in good enough shape to run a 7:30 minutes mile. Not impossible, but a lot of work nonetheless. Let's see how this plays out.
As a person who use to compete in sports, I needed some targets to shoot for in my exercise. I decide that my goal is for every distance that I care to be able to run, my time to shoot for would be twice the world record time. That is, if the world record for the 100m dash is 9.5 seconds, then i should try to do it in 19 seconds. For the real short sprints, this is not too big of a deal, but for distance it can be tough. That means that i got to get myself in good enough shape to run a 7:30 minutes mile. Not impossible, but a lot of work nonetheless. Let's see how this plays out.
Friday, September 28, 2007
exercise update
it's been 5 months since I started to get somewhat serious about exercising, i'm happy to report that i'm still doing it. i'm playing tennis 2-3 times a week, i've started to join some friends for an 8 miles walk every sunday morning for the last month. and starting today i'll be doing some exercise in the morning as well. since i committed to taking my son to school at 7:15am everyday, i'm planning to exercise for about 30 minutes everyday in the morning (either running in the streets or calisthenics at home). this will be in addition to what i've been doing. let's see how long this will last.
the one effect of all this exercising is that i feel slight aches and pains all the time from sore heels, arms, legs, etc.. also because i feel i've earned the right to eat a little more, i've actually gained weight, not much, but enough to cause me to be more vigilant about what i eat. the other thing is my heart rate has gone back down to about 58 bpm. it has gotten as high as 70 a few years ago. in college, when i was a lot more active it was in the low or mid 50s. i'll monitor the next month to see whether i can keep up the morning exercise, and what impact it has.
the one effect of all this exercising is that i feel slight aches and pains all the time from sore heels, arms, legs, etc.. also because i feel i've earned the right to eat a little more, i've actually gained weight, not much, but enough to cause me to be more vigilant about what i eat. the other thing is my heart rate has gone back down to about 58 bpm. it has gotten as high as 70 a few years ago. in college, when i was a lot more active it was in the low or mid 50s. i'll monitor the next month to see whether i can keep up the morning exercise, and what impact it has.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
life is hard
spent a hour yesterday at the driving with a bunch of friends after we dropped our wives off at the mall. then off to lunch with our wives @ bistro jeanty in yountville. then back to my house to play poker with the boys, while we waited for our wives to shop some more. then off to the A's game with the family and some friends. it was a stressful day, with so much to do :)
ps. i need more days like this
ps. i need more days like this
Monday, August 13, 2007
meteor shower
My wife manage to convince me and my kids to stay up until midnight lastnight to watch the meteor shower. I set up the sleeping bag in the backyard and the four of us crawled in. In the 20 minutes outside we managed to see about 6-8 meteor. It was very neat. We even saw a couple of meteors with tail. It was something that I've seen in the movies but never in real life. Nature can always amaze us if we just take the time. The meteor went by so fast, none of us was ever able to make a wish.
Thang
Thang
Friday, August 10, 2007
hard work
blogging is hard work, I've find it very difficult to keep up the blog. I just don't feel interesting enough to keep going. It's like there's nothing new. Hopefully I'll make a better effort.
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Let's boycott Exxon-Mobil over price gouging!
I'm sick of high gas prices, and not going to take it lying down. In looking over major oil companies' financials, it's obvious that Exxon-Mobil makes the most money selling oil. Of all of the major oil companies, they have the highest gross margin at 48.8%, the rest ranges from 16% (Valero) to 36% (Conoco Phillips). This may be because they are the most efficient but it seems unlikely to be the only reason. In any case, it is impossible to boycott all the oil companies because we need gasoline, but we could boycott 1 oil company and make enough of an impact to make a statement. This is possible because there are enough alternatives in most US cities.
I'm picking Exxon-Mobil to boycott because they are the biggest and most profitable oil company in the world. They are the flagship of the oil industry.
The plan is to boycott Exxon-Mobil products for the next 3 months: July, August & September. If we can get enough people to join in, it will be enough to affect their bottom line and show up in their quarterly reports. Which should affect their stock price. Let's hit them where it counts.
Let's get the word out, and let the boycott begin.
I'm picking Exxon-Mobil to boycott because they are the biggest and most profitable oil company in the world. They are the flagship of the oil industry.
The plan is to boycott Exxon-Mobil products for the next 3 months: July, August & September. If we can get enough people to join in, it will be enough to affect their bottom line and show up in their quarterly reports. Which should affect their stock price. Let's hit them where it counts.
Let's get the word out, and let the boycott begin.
Monday, May 21, 2007
La Folie
This is the 3rd time that’s I’ve eaten here, and like the previous visits the food was excellent. Let me state clearly that the food here is excellent, well worth the money. And for those who like good sized portions, this is the place to go, a rarity among the fine-dining establishements. And the service was prompt and cheerful.
I was in a mood to try a lot of food, so I ordered a 5-course dinner which I substituted dessert for another entrée. I had been working to expand my capacity for food in the last 2 months, however, it was still more food than I can handle.
I had a soup, duck consomme with slices of duck breast and foie gras tortellini. While it was good, it was also kind of ho-hum tasting.
The next dish was the Seared Foie Gras, most striking/memorable dish for me. It tasted flavorful and decadent. The foie gras was “melt-in-your-mouth” soft. It was both sweet and savory. On top of that, it was a big piece of foie gras, the size of a hamburger patty.
I then had the Lobster salad, this was a great dish. It was light and refreshing when I could have been a little heavy.
The next dish was the Sturgeon with Porcini Mushrooms, Leek and Potato Broth. This was an excellent dish. Since I normally do not like fish I might not have fully appreciate this dish. But the flavor was deep but subtle, and texture of the fish was firm. It did have a hint of fishy taste, which I did not like. I knew that this would be the case, but I wanted to try the sturgeon, since I’ve never had it.
I then had the Quail and Squab Stuffed with Mushrooms. By this time I was stuffed. I had a piece of each and while it tasted good, my palate was getting dulled enough that I don’t think I can do this dish justice. I had the rest packed to go.
Next time, I need to remind myself to not get greedy and order too much. It will be difficult because the whole idea of eating out is to eat good food that I don’t normally eat, and when the restaurant is this good, it’s too easy to be tempted to order more than I can eat. At least I didn’t try to eat everything and overstuffed myself like I did at Michael Mina’s 3 months ago. On that occasion, I ate so much (it was only a 3-course dinner, but it was still a lot of food) that I felt full till the next day. At that point I felt that I need to expand my appetite to the point that it can handle a nice meal without getting full. So for the last 2 months I’ve been eating more and exercising more to make up for it. I would have to say I’ve succeeded.
I was in a mood to try a lot of food, so I ordered a 5-course dinner which I substituted dessert for another entrée. I had been working to expand my capacity for food in the last 2 months, however, it was still more food than I can handle.
I had a soup, duck consomme with slices of duck breast and foie gras tortellini. While it was good, it was also kind of ho-hum tasting.
The next dish was the Seared Foie Gras, most striking/memorable dish for me. It tasted flavorful and decadent. The foie gras was “melt-in-your-mouth” soft. It was both sweet and savory. On top of that, it was a big piece of foie gras, the size of a hamburger patty.
I then had the Lobster salad, this was a great dish. It was light and refreshing when I could have been a little heavy.
The next dish was the Sturgeon with Porcini Mushrooms, Leek and Potato Broth. This was an excellent dish. Since I normally do not like fish I might not have fully appreciate this dish. But the flavor was deep but subtle, and texture of the fish was firm. It did have a hint of fishy taste, which I did not like. I knew that this would be the case, but I wanted to try the sturgeon, since I’ve never had it.
I then had the Quail and Squab Stuffed with Mushrooms. By this time I was stuffed. I had a piece of each and while it tasted good, my palate was getting dulled enough that I don’t think I can do this dish justice. I had the rest packed to go.
Next time, I need to remind myself to not get greedy and order too much. It will be difficult because the whole idea of eating out is to eat good food that I don’t normally eat, and when the restaurant is this good, it’s too easy to be tempted to order more than I can eat. At least I didn’t try to eat everything and overstuffed myself like I did at Michael Mina’s 3 months ago. On that occasion, I ate so much (it was only a 3-course dinner, but it was still a lot of food) that I felt full till the next day. At that point I felt that I need to expand my appetite to the point that it can handle a nice meal without getting full. So for the last 2 months I’ve been eating more and exercising more to make up for it. I would have to say I’ve succeeded.
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
keeping up with Gisele
one thing a lot of us learn financially is "don't try to keep up with the jones", because it would be an endless cycle. but there's a bigger/different problem. a lot of time, instead of comparing ourselves (our appearance, accomplishments, etc..) with the jones, we compare ourselves with the "superstar" in our world, and find ourselves lacking. for example, women would look at a picture of a 53 years old christie brinkley and feel bad about themselves for not looking as good as she does. or worse comparing themselves to models who are in their 20s, and then feel inadequate. instead of comparing themselves to their next door neighbors, who they look just as good as, if not better.
the lesson is that we need to be fair about our "peer group". unless we think we are models or movie stars, we shouldn't be comparing ourselves to them. we can use them (models & celebrities) as inspiration but we cannot feel bad that we can't compare to them, because no matter how hard some of us try, we just can't. they make a living with their appearance, so a lot of them spend hours every day working on it, not to mention other resources like personal trainer, chefs, etc.. to help them. not only that, plastic surgery sometimes plays a part a well.
so while it is aspirational to look to the "superstars", we should look at the average joes or janes to see where we really stand.
the lesson is that we need to be fair about our "peer group". unless we think we are models or movie stars, we shouldn't be comparing ourselves to them. we can use them (models & celebrities) as inspiration but we cannot feel bad that we can't compare to them, because no matter how hard some of us try, we just can't. they make a living with their appearance, so a lot of them spend hours every day working on it, not to mention other resources like personal trainer, chefs, etc.. to help them. not only that, plastic surgery sometimes plays a part a well.
so while it is aspirational to look to the "superstars", we should look at the average joes or janes to see where we really stand.
Friday, May 4, 2007
the Warriors Win!!!
the warriors v. mavericks game last night (5/3/07) was one of the most incredible basketball i've watched in a long time. (i supposed not so much if you're a mavericks' fan). but baron davis playing on one leg and still dominating was just incredible.
at the very least, i'll get to enjoy one more playoff series. i did not think that the warriors were going to make the playoffs, and i thought this all the way to the very last game. they had a tough road and played well to get to the playoffs. it's been an incredible ride since.
GO WARRIORS!!!!
at the very least, i'll get to enjoy one more playoff series. i did not think that the warriors were going to make the playoffs, and i thought this all the way to the very last game. they had a tough road and played well to get to the playoffs. it's been an incredible ride since.
GO WARRIORS!!!!
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
simple logic
sometimes life is very simple, like this saying "the more you do it, the more you do it". simply put, the more you do something, the more you wind up doing that thing. if you want to exercise, you starting exercising, as you start to exercise more often, you find that it is much easier to exercise more often than you ever thought it would be, so you exercise more often. and the reverse logic is also true: "the less you do it, the less you do it". all this is because as we do more of something, we make time for it, it becomes part of the routine, conversely as we do less of something, we stop setting time for it, and then we don't have time, energy and/or resources for it anymore, so we stop.
so if you want to do something, just start doing it, you will find that you will starting doing more of it. you still need to research/refine what it is that you're doing, if you want to be better at it though.
in my own life, i find this to be true of exercise, eating, saving, sex, poker, practically everything. once i find something that this logic does not apply to i'll let you know.
so if you want to do something, just start doing it, you will find that you will starting doing more of it. you still need to research/refine what it is that you're doing, if you want to be better at it though.
in my own life, i find this to be true of exercise, eating, saving, sex, poker, practically everything. once i find something that this logic does not apply to i'll let you know.
Monday, April 30, 2007
retirement by 2020 or bust
lately i've been looking at my finances to see if i could actually retire in 13 more years. it's possible, but it's going to take a lot of savings and investments doing okay and not losing money for me to make it.
that said, i've wasted a lot money and time in the last 3-4 years screwing around. thank god it's not too late.
as for my health, i've been playing tennis with friends 3-4 times a week for the last two months, so at least i'm keeping it up. my wife actually signed up with a gym last week, and is now going everyday so far.
that said, i've wasted a lot money and time in the last 3-4 years screwing around. thank god it's not too late.
as for my health, i've been playing tennis with friends 3-4 times a week for the last two months, so at least i'm keeping it up. my wife actually signed up with a gym last week, and is now going everyday so far.
Monday, April 16, 2007
funeral planning
Attending my friend's father-in-law funeral caused me to have some thoughts about my own. One thing for sure, I know I wanted to be cremated and have my family do to my ashes what they wish, as long as they don't flush it. As for flowers, I would like to direct donations to charities in lieu of flowers.
Of course, I also wonder who would show up at my funeral. It makes me think that I need to make more of an impact in my community than I'm doing currently. I don't think anyone would miss me except my family and close friends. I think that I have lived a rather self-centered life up to now. Hopefully, this will be a reminder that I need to impact the community/world I live in more than I do now. We'll see where this leads as time goes by.
Of course, I also wonder who would show up at my funeral. It makes me think that I need to make more of an impact in my community than I'm doing currently. I don't think anyone would miss me except my family and close friends. I think that I have lived a rather self-centered life up to now. Hopefully, this will be a reminder that I need to impact the community/world I live in more than I do now. We'll see where this leads as time goes by.
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
getting in shape
I've some how managed to stay fairly active this last month. The weather has been great so I've been walking to lunch a few times. I've played tennis at least a couple of times a week. Went jogging a few times, and generally just been more active. The reason for this increased activity is two fold:
1. to get in better shape/health. and more importantly
2. so I can eat more.
I've always felt that it is better to not put on weight at all than to try to lose it once gained. Therefore, I've been eating less since I'm not very active. Because of that, my appetite/stomach has shrunk some. Last month, when I went out to dinner at Michael Mina's, I was stuffed, so stuffed that I still felt full by next morning. Not a good feeling. I like food too much to not be able to enjoy a full meal. That's when I decided that I need to start eating more to stretch my appetite/stomach back, and to offset it by being more active in general. Let's see how long I can keep this up, and not get out of shape. Because I'm pretty sure I can keep up the eating, it's the exercising that's worrying me. :)
1. to get in better shape/health. and more importantly
2. so I can eat more.
I've always felt that it is better to not put on weight at all than to try to lose it once gained. Therefore, I've been eating less since I'm not very active. Because of that, my appetite/stomach has shrunk some. Last month, when I went out to dinner at Michael Mina's, I was stuffed, so stuffed that I still felt full by next morning. Not a good feeling. I like food too much to not be able to enjoy a full meal. That's when I decided that I need to start eating more to stretch my appetite/stomach back, and to offset it by being more active in general. Let's see how long I can keep this up, and not get out of shape. Because I'm pretty sure I can keep up the eating, it's the exercising that's worrying me. :)
Monday, April 2, 2007
new reality at 40s revisited
I talked about the new reality of 40s a few weeks ago, and now I'm dealing with some. A friend's father just passed away yesterday. I'll be dealing with stuff like this for the next 10 years if not longer.
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Why bother
I've seen a lot of people put too much weight and care in other people and their opinions, especially when those people don't really matter. Trying so hard to impress people they don't even like. I always say "the only person you have to live with is yourself, and whoever YOU CHOSE to live with". Only the opinions of the people you love and respect should matter to you, as for anyone else, to be blunt, even if they roll over and die, it wouldn't affect you, so why bother.
Thursday, March 22, 2007
cha-ching!
My wife finally earned more money than me for the first time in 2006. She's a pediatrician, but has always worked part-time since her residency (that was 9 years ago), and still does. It's a good thing that this finally happened, but I wonder whether I should re-examine my income to see if it's all that it could/should be. Anyway, it's all good.
I wonder whether the dynamics in our relationship will change because of this. I should think not, but who knows. May be she'll feel as if she should have more say about how we manage/spend our money (she always have a say, but maybe she'll exercise that option more). May be I'll feel that I should defer to her more than I already do, who knows. I'll report if there's any changes.
I wonder whether the dynamics in our relationship will change because of this. I should think not, but who knows. May be she'll feel as if she should have more say about how we manage/spend our money (she always have a say, but maybe she'll exercise that option more). May be I'll feel that I should defer to her more than I already do, who knows. I'll report if there's any changes.
Monday, March 19, 2007
driving a relationship
In the previous post, I equate relationship maintenance to car maintenance. In this post, again I will use the car analogy to look at relationship, this time driving. When you drive, you are taught to drive safely and defensively.
You drive safely by not speeding, being extra careful in inclement weather, following traffic rules and etiquette, by not pushing your car beyond it's capability, by equipping it properly for the conditions. This equate to knowing the limits of your relationship and not push it. If your significant other (SO) has a particular pet peeve, try to be sensitive to it. Making sure you have good communications with each other. Treating each other with respect.
You drive defensively by always being vigilant of road conditions and other drivers. You could be driving safely, but if you're not watching out for bad drivers, you can still get into accidents. How this relates to relationships is that always be vigilant of your relationship, watch out for trouble spots and steer clear. Making sure the "SO" is happy so that will not be predispose to looking around. This is not to say, be suspicious and possessive of your love one, but to be mindful of dangerous situation and environment, and to make sure to avoid it altogether, or if not possible to be very cognizant of the risk.
Remember, as with cars, an accident no matter whose fault it was, can leave the car's infrastructure permanent compromised, even if repairable. Sometimes it will totally destroy the car. So "drive" your relationship safely and defensively.
You drive safely by not speeding, being extra careful in inclement weather, following traffic rules and etiquette, by not pushing your car beyond it's capability, by equipping it properly for the conditions. This equate to knowing the limits of your relationship and not push it. If your significant other (SO) has a particular pet peeve, try to be sensitive to it. Making sure you have good communications with each other. Treating each other with respect.
You drive defensively by always being vigilant of road conditions and other drivers. You could be driving safely, but if you're not watching out for bad drivers, you can still get into accidents. How this relates to relationships is that always be vigilant of your relationship, watch out for trouble spots and steer clear. Making sure the "SO" is happy so that will not be predispose to looking around. This is not to say, be suspicious and possessive of your love one, but to be mindful of dangerous situation and environment, and to make sure to avoid it altogether, or if not possible to be very cognizant of the risk.
Remember, as with cars, an accident no matter whose fault it was, can leave the car's infrastructure permanent compromised, even if repairable. Sometimes it will totally destroy the car. So "drive" your relationship safely and defensively.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Marriage/relationship maintenance guide for dummies
When it comes to relationship sometimes folks aren't sure how much "maintenance" is enough, I've thought of a way so that men/women (especially men) can put relationship in context of something we all know well enough to understand. I'm equating relationship to automobiles. It goes like this:
Essential:
gas = sex
schedule maintenance (tune-ups, oil changes) = anniversary, birthdays, valentines
wear-tear maintenance (brakes, tires, shocks, etc..) = vacations
Nice to do, but not necessary:
car wash = dinner out, movies
detailing = special night out
This should help us all understand how much "maintenance" our relationship requires to be in good running condition. In the same way our car does not run/look well if we neglect the items above, our relationship suffers as well. You can put off some of the items for a little bit, but if you go too long without proper maintenance the car/relationship will stop working.
We will look at other aspects of the car-relationship model at some later point. Hope this was useful to you.
Essential:
gas = sex
schedule maintenance (tune-ups, oil changes) = anniversary, birthdays, valentines
wear-tear maintenance (brakes, tires, shocks, etc..) = vacations
Nice to do, but not necessary:
car wash = dinner out, movies
detailing = special night out
This should help us all understand how much "maintenance" our relationship requires to be in good running condition. In the same way our car does not run/look well if we neglect the items above, our relationship suffers as well. You can put off some of the items for a little bit, but if you go too long without proper maintenance the car/relationship will stop working.
We will look at other aspects of the car-relationship model at some later point. Hope this was useful to you.
Friday, March 9, 2007
You can't have it all!
May be it's just me, an un-ambitious person, but I've always felt that one of the reason that I think I'm happy is because I believe that you CAN'T have it all. All you can do is figure out what's most important to you and work on that, everything else is gravy. Trying to have it all in itself is not a bad thing, what it does however is put so much stress on us to try to attain/maintain it all, that we get too tired and/or too stressed out to enjoy ourselves even if we do manage to have it all.
Sometimes the things that we want don't go well with each other. It's like wanting a 2-seat convertible that you can drive your family of 4 around in, it just doesn't go together. Or wanting a powerful V8 car that gets 40 mpg, it doesn't exists (at least not yet). If we aren't "reasonable" about these wants, we will never find what we're looking for.
Sometimes the things we want can go together, but requires so much effort to attain that we can't even enjoy ourselves once we attain it. Like the mother/career choice that some women have to make. Some are able to do both, and enjoy themselves, but a lot of folks aren't able to do that. Either the demands from work is too stressful, or the rewards of taking care of the kids isn't apparent enough, or doing both well requires so much energy from you that you can't even take some time to relax and enjoy yourself and your accomplishments. This is where/when you need to sit down and decide what's important and cut back on the other stuff, if only to save your happiness and sanity.
Should the fact that other people are able to "have it all" while you can't make you feel bad? I say no, we are all different (different values, different tolerance, different temperment). the only thing we can do is make ourselves happy with our situation, whatever that is.
I'm not saying don't have dreams, I'm just saying that if you're out there chasing your dreams and if you find that even if you achieve your goals/dreams and you are still unhappy, may be you just need to slow down and figure out what it is that makes you happy.
Anyway, hopes this rambling haven't gotten completely incoherent.
Sometimes the things that we want don't go well with each other. It's like wanting a 2-seat convertible that you can drive your family of 4 around in, it just doesn't go together. Or wanting a powerful V8 car that gets 40 mpg, it doesn't exists (at least not yet). If we aren't "reasonable" about these wants, we will never find what we're looking for.
Sometimes the things we want can go together, but requires so much effort to attain that we can't even enjoy ourselves once we attain it. Like the mother/career choice that some women have to make. Some are able to do both, and enjoy themselves, but a lot of folks aren't able to do that. Either the demands from work is too stressful, or the rewards of taking care of the kids isn't apparent enough, or doing both well requires so much energy from you that you can't even take some time to relax and enjoy yourself and your accomplishments. This is where/when you need to sit down and decide what's important and cut back on the other stuff, if only to save your happiness and sanity.
Should the fact that other people are able to "have it all" while you can't make you feel bad? I say no, we are all different (different values, different tolerance, different temperment). the only thing we can do is make ourselves happy with our situation, whatever that is.
I'm not saying don't have dreams, I'm just saying that if you're out there chasing your dreams and if you find that even if you achieve your goals/dreams and you are still unhappy, may be you just need to slow down and figure out what it is that makes you happy.
Anyway, hopes this rambling haven't gotten completely incoherent.
Wednesday, March 7, 2007
Praising your children
I recently read an article (http://nymag.com/news/features/27840/) about this very topic that resonate strongly with me. It basically talk about how praising your children as "smart" might not be a good thing.
As for me, I've always felt that children should be encourage to try, learn, fail, and keep trying and learning. I've seen too many instances where children are praised for just showing up or parents/adults let children win to boost their self-esteem. While this may encourage childrens to keep trying, or to learn to try new things, it does not help them deal with failure and hard work. This is not to say that this approach is bad, it just doesn't deal directly with two subjects that all children will confront as they grow and work to be successful in any endeavors. As with most things in life, the struggle is learning/practicing to get better. The hard work, the effort put forth is what allows some to succeed, where more talented peers may fail.
One of the thing I always stress is dealing with things in our control. If something is not in your control, there's nothing you can do about it. For example, in poker, all you can do is to put your money in when you have the best hand, and fold when you don't or when your chance of getting the best hand is slim. That means going all-in pre-flop with AA, if you lose so be it. You did everything you could have done, luck still plays a role. In poker the only thing you can control are what cards you chose to play, and how you play those cards (bet,raise, fold, check, call, etc..), unless you have the absolute best hand possible, even if you are a 90% favorite, the 10% chance that you lose can still happens. While you may not be happy that you lose because of that 10% chance, you should be happy that you put yourself in a situation that allows you to win 90% of the time, because over the long run, you will be successful more often than not.
Back to the children, effort is something they can control, smart (if couched in the context that it is innate, genetic) is something they cannot. If we teach them that they can be "smart" by exerting effort to learn more things, working hard to master different things then we are showing them how they can affect their knowledge. As Thomas Edison once said "Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration".
The other aspect is failure and how do we deal with it. Everyone fails at some point, some fail more than other, but we will all fail at something. How we deal with it defines us as much as if not more than our successes. Do we fail and give up or do we keep trying until we succeed. (Sometimes we won't succeed but does that mean failure when we try and got the best out of our abilities and it wasn't enough? That's a topic for another day) . Remember "quitters never wins, and winners never quits".
I've probably rambled on so much that the message may be lost, for that I apologized.
btw, no I did not win the Lotto yesterday (the jackpot grew to $390M because of all the hoopla surrounding it).
As for me, I've always felt that children should be encourage to try, learn, fail, and keep trying and learning. I've seen too many instances where children are praised for just showing up or parents/adults let children win to boost their self-esteem. While this may encourage childrens to keep trying, or to learn to try new things, it does not help them deal with failure and hard work. This is not to say that this approach is bad, it just doesn't deal directly with two subjects that all children will confront as they grow and work to be successful in any endeavors. As with most things in life, the struggle is learning/practicing to get better. The hard work, the effort put forth is what allows some to succeed, where more talented peers may fail.
One of the thing I always stress is dealing with things in our control. If something is not in your control, there's nothing you can do about it. For example, in poker, all you can do is to put your money in when you have the best hand, and fold when you don't or when your chance of getting the best hand is slim. That means going all-in pre-flop with AA, if you lose so be it. You did everything you could have done, luck still plays a role. In poker the only thing you can control are what cards you chose to play, and how you play those cards (bet,raise, fold, check, call, etc..), unless you have the absolute best hand possible, even if you are a 90% favorite, the 10% chance that you lose can still happens. While you may not be happy that you lose because of that 10% chance, you should be happy that you put yourself in a situation that allows you to win 90% of the time, because over the long run, you will be successful more often than not.
Back to the children, effort is something they can control, smart (if couched in the context that it is innate, genetic) is something they cannot. If we teach them that they can be "smart" by exerting effort to learn more things, working hard to master different things then we are showing them how they can affect their knowledge. As Thomas Edison once said "Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration".
The other aspect is failure and how do we deal with it. Everyone fails at some point, some fail more than other, but we will all fail at something. How we deal with it defines us as much as if not more than our successes. Do we fail and give up or do we keep trying until we succeed. (Sometimes we won't succeed but does that mean failure when we try and got the best out of our abilities and it wasn't enough? That's a topic for another day) . Remember "quitters never wins, and winners never quits".
I've probably rambled on so much that the message may be lost, for that I apologized.
btw, no I did not win the Lotto yesterday (the jackpot grew to $390M because of all the hoopla surrounding it).
Tuesday, March 6, 2007
Lotto fever
In California there are two Lottos: Mega Millions (multi-state) and Super Lotto (CA only), the jackpot are now $355M and $57M respectively. It's getting big enough that your's truly have to buy some tickets. Generally buying lottery tickets is a "foolish investment", however when the jackpot is bigger than the odds for winning then it's a "fair gamble". For Mega Millions the odds of winning is 171M to 1, jackpot is $355M, so you're getting better returns for your bet. The odds for Super Lotto is 41M to 1, the current jackpot $57M.
Of course, all of this is just an attempt to rationalize buying Lotto tickets. Good luck to me.
Follow up on the previous post, all this exercising is causing my body to be sore all over. This is one reason why it has been very difficult for me to get into a serious exercise regiment. It's literally a "pain in the ass" to get started. Let's see if I can keep it up for a week, may be after that it will be easier.
Of course, all of this is just an attempt to rationalize buying Lotto tickets. Good luck to me.
Follow up on the previous post, all this exercising is causing my body to be sore all over. This is one reason why it has been very difficult for me to get into a serious exercise regiment. It's literally a "pain in the ass" to get started. Let's see if I can keep it up for a week, may be after that it will be easier.
Monday, March 5, 2007
The new reality of life in the 40s
As I and my friends all slowly drift into 40s something status, I realize we going to be dealing with a lot of issues we haven't have to deal with of late.
-Our own health and fitness
-Our parent's health, fitness & mortality
-Our kid's coming of age
Yesterday, after getting together to celebrate a friend's 40th birthday, a few of the friends invited themselves over to my house to play tennis. This is the first time that we have gotten together to "exercise". Most of the time, we get together to eat, or go out to eat. I think as we are all getting older, we're realizing how difficult it is to get rid of the pounds we put on. We have talked about the need to be more active, and some of us have been very good about working out on their own. But this was the first time that it was more than just talk. May be this will be a beginning of our "group" fitness dedication. Let's see how long this will last.
-Our own health and fitness
-Our parent's health, fitness & mortality
-Our kid's coming of age
Yesterday, after getting together to celebrate a friend's 40th birthday, a few of the friends invited themselves over to my house to play tennis. This is the first time that we have gotten together to "exercise". Most of the time, we get together to eat, or go out to eat. I think as we are all getting older, we're realizing how difficult it is to get rid of the pounds we put on. We have talked about the need to be more active, and some of us have been very good about working out on their own. But this was the first time that it was more than just talk. May be this will be a beginning of our "group" fitness dedication. Let's see how long this will last.
Thursday, March 1, 2007
Are you smarter than a 5th grader?
I've been watching this show on Fox with my kids and I can't believe how bad (may be the proper word is "unenlightened") these people are. They are missing a bunch of questions that I wouldn't think that they should. The contestants are asked questions that kids would have learned in grade school. And as they answer these questions correctly, they get money (surprisingly, a lot of money). Of the 2 contestants so far, one (a UCLA grad no less) got $5,000, and the other one got $100,000. Getting that $100K requires you to answer about 7 questions right, this includes 3 chances to get help from the kids on the show.
The issue here could be contestant selection, that is select people who sounds like they could be intelligent people based on their education and profession, while making sure that they are at the same time clueless. I will see how this shows plays out. Meanwhile, I have a deal with my 12 years old son that he gets a quarter for every right answer, and lose a dollar for every wrong answer (since he is now a 6th grader, he thinks this is fair enough). So far I owe him $1 after the first show we watched together.
I will revisit this topic periodically, as one of my pet peeve is:
"common sense is not all that common" and "average intelligence is pretty disappointing"
Thang
The issue here could be contestant selection, that is select people who sounds like they could be intelligent people based on their education and profession, while making sure that they are at the same time clueless. I will see how this shows plays out. Meanwhile, I have a deal with my 12 years old son that he gets a quarter for every right answer, and lose a dollar for every wrong answer (since he is now a 6th grader, he thinks this is fair enough). So far I owe him $1 after the first show we watched together.
I will revisit this topic periodically, as one of my pet peeve is:
"common sense is not all that common" and "average intelligence is pretty disappointing"
Thang
First post
With everyone and their mothers blogging, I figure I should try it out to see if it's for me. I've read a few blogs that I thought were entertaining, informative and interesting and thought why not. My wife tells me that I need to get a life, what's so interesting to read about someone else's "diary". For me, a blog that is well done is worth the author's and the reader's time.
While I think it's just another forum to vent/share/shout about your thoughts and feelings, it can be a tool to track your thoughts and feelings and whether it has changed over time. It can be a forum to see whether others share your thoughts/experience as well (this assumes that someone may actually want to read all this, which is a big assumption it itself).
Thang
While I think it's just another forum to vent/share/shout about your thoughts and feelings, it can be a tool to track your thoughts and feelings and whether it has changed over time. It can be a forum to see whether others share your thoughts/experience as well (this assumes that someone may actually want to read all this, which is a big assumption it itself).
Thang
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